me: does 5 situps
me: where are my abs
kissesunderstarrynight: angryteenagebear: rubywhiterabbit: My little brother got into outer space and stuff so my step-mom bought him a place mat with all the planets on it. When I first saw it, I was upset, because it was newer and so Pluto wasn’t labeled. I was about to say something when I noticed something… Pluto is there. The artist remembered Pluto. Guys… The artist drew...
shaving23spiders: one time in class a girl asked if they had cars in 1993
princeofkokoros: what if there was a really flamboyant assassin and after they killed someone they just snapped their fingers, turned away and said ‘you’ve just been SASSassinated’
cybergay: I THROW A GIANT BUCKET OF AMINO ACIDS IN YOUR FACE AND YOU BRACE YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU’RE STUPID AND PROBABLY THOUGHT IT WOULD MELT YOUR FACE OFF BUT AMINO ACIDS ARE ACTUALLY HEALTHY VITAMINS AND I HAVE DECIEVED YOU
miss-zuipper-pips: copperbooms: when i was younger i thought “peanut butter and jelly” meant like peanut butter and this and i was so distraught because i was like why the fuck would anyone eat peanut butter with that and on bread none the less what is wrong with people and why is this such a popular meal then i learnt that jelly in america actually means jam SAME I WAS SO WEIRDED OUT ...
baraskank: oh my god my dad just went out to walk the dog and he must have got halfway down the street and then he just came back and I was like “what’s the matter” and he just said really quietly “i forgot the dog” and my dog was just siTTING BY THE DOORSTEP WITH HIS LEASH ON LOOKING REALLY SAD kOMFGYOD
roryamy: kurt’s last words of the season were “i didn’t get in” ok
excuuusemeprincess: this was actually the worst season finale I’ve ever seen of any show ever
unicornwhores: …and people thought gays would ruin the sanctity of marriage.
thorhead: do you think when johnny depp agrees to be in a movie with a different director he goes home at night and tim burton is just there with his face pressed against the window and johnny has to close the curtains to avoid feeling guilty